HGTV to come and spiff up my house.
the people on the animal channel to come and train my pets to not scratch or sit on the new furniture the HGTV people will give me.
Gunnar Peterson to work his magic on my abs with his Core Secrets.
the Super Nanny to come train my children to pick up their dirty clothes and do their chores without having to be nagged to death.
Extreme Makover people to give me a really nice hair cut.
Bare Essentials. I really, really do!
I'm an infomercial/prime time special just waiting to happen.