Friday, April 16, 2010

Bathroom Talk

I have a few peculiarities when it comes to public restroom usage.

And, hey. What's a blog for, if not to discuss such things?

I'm sure most women can fall into one of two categories when using a public restroom. Are you a hover-er or a cover-er?

I seem to be both. It takes no less than three tries to get the stupid seat covers to actually not fall into the bowl, and sometimes I can't wait for three tries, and then I just end up hovering. I can't bring myself to sit down on an uncovered public toilet. Sometimes I try the toilet paper strip covering method, but sometimes you just have to go!

(Side note: I read in Prevention magazine that it is better to not make a habit of hovering because it doesn't let you bladder relax all they way, which could cause infection). Thought you should know.

Also, I never take the first couple sheets of toilet paper. Those get ripped off and thrown away. Why? Because SOMEONE ELSE HAS TOUCHED THEM! Do you do this? I always wonder if I'm the only one.

There is very limited touching of anything. Which is the norm these days, I'm sure.

I'm thankful for automatic faucets on the sinks, automatic soap dispensers, dryers that you stick your hands in and those little foot hooks that allow you to open the door with your toe.

I'm not, however, a big fan of the automatic flusher. They flush on me spontaneously. I prefer to kick the handle.

Another thing... Thanks to my Grandma Virginia (Godresthersoul) I am always on the look out of men, who are dressed as women, not because they are transvestites, but because they are coming in to prey on women in the restroom. She gave me a healthy fear of restrooms, that one. I don't think she ever used public restrooms. She just held it.

I once took my daughter into a rest stop and wish I had the video of that excursion. She had no shoes on so I packed her in on my back, checked for perverts, covered the seat, swung her around to the front, arranged her clothing, dangled her over the pot, because even covered it was disgusting, took care of clean up, dressed her while still dangling, threw her back around onto my shoulders, checked for perverts again, and left to wash up with baby wipes in the car. ALL WHILE HOLDING MY BREATH THE ENTIRE TIME! It was truly gross.

And that concludes my bathroom talk for today. Sorry for warping you.

5 comments:

Shannon said...

Public restrooms -ewwwwwww! I can usually deal on my own okay, but when it comes to the girls it just freaks me out - especially when they were younger and they didn't have the good sense to not touch everything. EWWWW - I cringe.

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

I've been known to squat and pee in a ditch before using certain public restrooms. Unsurprisingly, I know the good rest stops in our state--there are TWO of them, one in Menomonee and one en route to Milwaukee.

blackbird said...

"I never take the first couple sheets of toilet paper. Those get ripped off and thrown away. Why? Because SOMEONE ELSE HAS TOUCHED THEM!"

Get the HECK OUT OF HERE! I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT!

Kaylen said...

I always make sure the layer of toilet paper that is on the outside of the roll (like 4 or 5 squares sometimes) is folded inside itself so that the exposed tissue is wrapped inside the tissue that is going to touch me in any way.

I used to always hover, but I typicaly just sit down these days. If the bathroom looks like it never gets clean, I'll hover or hold it (when possible).

My bathroom pet peeve is when someone comes in and takes the stall next to you instead of going every other one...

Anonymous said...

i Never use the outer layer either. You are normal.