Feeling Guilty

I just paid $4.78 for a fancy coffee.

It is delicious.
And decaf. (Because I've given up the caf).
And dairy free. (Because I've given up the cow).
And has agave sweetener instead of the chemical stuff. (Because I'm almost practically a vegan by now, if not in earnest, at least by default).

But $4.78?! And it's gone already. :(

At least it was double-punch day on my frequent customer card.

I drank my fancy coffee but couldn't get over the price, and there are Haitians out there, and homeless people, and bills, and field trips, and hungry people, and... and... and...

But I did give my business to an indepent business woman who uses fair trade and healthy products. And I put a small tip in the jar for the cute and funky barista.

Does that balance it out?

Today's favorite

Love, lOvE, lurve it.

Todays To-Do

• Excercise
• Shower and Dress
• Eat some sort of delicious lunch - Stir Fry?
• Start cleaning my closet - I say start because it's so buried and full of stuff that needs to be gotten rid of that there is NO way I can finish it in one swoop.
• Go to our FIRST rehearsal for Guys and Dolls! Ecstatic!!
• Make a run to the grocery store
• Eat some sort of delicious dinner - Baked Potatoes?
• Karaoke at the Chinese Place with friends
• Jammies and Bed

Sounds like a pretty good day

Spring needs to arrive

I'm bored of my winter clothes.

My boots seem heavy, my tights feel too close to my skin and my sweaters are peely.

I've also been lifting weights and my arms are ready to see the light of day, and they need a little sun-kissed tint to be happy.

My hair needs to be redder, my shoulders need to be tan and my toes need to peep out.

I want to eat lunch out of doors, preferably at a waterside cafe on the patio with sunglasses on.

Picnics would be fine, but I hate to pack food so it would have to be a catered affair for me too feel totally sublime about it.

I want to feel a balmy breeze at about 6:12-ish in the the evening. I want open windows to smell that greenish, lemony aroma of spring that my area boasts.

Iced coffee over hot. Smoothies over tea. Fresh veggies instead of frozen.

I'm ready to spring clean. I don't know when I'll do that, but it must be done.

Is this the equivalent of having too early of a Christmas Spirit peak? What is Spring Spirit called?

Whatever it is. I have it.

This is a test

I'm having trouble with my Survivor Video, so I had to make another one and now I don't know if that one worked, so I'm downloading it here to see if it works. It can only be a minute and mine is right dorky, but hopefully it will catch their attention!

Here goes!

This is to win an audition in LA. If it is one of the top ten, then people can vote on CBS.com to choose the audition winner. Let's hope I make the top ten!

Here's the link if you can't see it on this post

They called!

Survivor called me!!

But only to tell me that my DVD has formatting issues and they can't see it.

Now I have to do it over, because I will have to upload it directly onto the website and they have different rules about length and content and such.

Plus, my computer is dead and the original recording is on there anyway.

Still, it was exciting that they called, even if it wasn't really an invitation for an interview. At least I know my stuff got there!

Here's hoping for call number two!

I got it!!

I got my dream role. Miss Adelaide in Guys and Dolls. I can barely contain myself.

Funny thing? My husband auditioned and he won Nathan Detroit!

We are playing together for the first time. Should be tons of fun!

Also got a role in Harvey. Not a musical, but it will help me hone my acting skills.

So excited. Now, if I could only get paid for doing what I love!

I have nerves

I've been especially hungry for two days in a row.



I know it's not real hunger. It's just nerves.



You see, I have a big audition coming up on Saturday. Two, actually. But one I really care about and will break my heart if I don't get. So. I'm hungry.



But today I acknowledge my hunger for what it is and will use it for good and not evil. I will convert it into energy to do my job and get some stuff done, and practice, practice, practice, and we'll see what happens.



At the very least, I won't gain five pounds before my big day. That's a bonus in and of itself.



****



Also, my husband said something to me yesterday that rang true. He teaches a speech class and he said he liked it when people stood up there and said what they are with confidence.



For example; someone can either introduce themselves like, "Hi, my name is ___ and I am a writer". Or they can say, "Hi, my name is ____ and I sort of write, like in my free time, I'm not paid for it yet, but I would like to be, but it's not official or anything..." You get my drift.



So, I will stop using words like 'ish'. I actually told someone once that I was an actress and added 'ish' to it. How lame is that?



Here goes... "Hi, my name is Amy and I am a singer and an actress". Of course, I want to qualify that in a million ways, but for today I won't. I will just be confident that in whatever capacity I am those things, that I really am those things!



Feels sort of scary. And brave. And good.



And a little hungry. :)

Maybe it's time to start again...

I think I'm ready. But I have frustrations.

The allowable alottment for photos for this blog has been filled. I either have to pay for more storage, delete old photos or start a new site. None of these seem to appeal to me. But I will have to choose.

I post a lot on facebook. I think that has taken the place of the blog for awhile. But this little spot is more for me and facebook is more about others. So I will come back here to post my thoughts and observations and silliness.

I hope I have some art and crafts to share in the future. And songs. And hopefully good news that I expect shortly. I am auditioning for my dream role. Yes, it's only community theater, but I WANT IT so badly! And if I don't get it, I will come back here to moan and groan.

I have goals and dreams that I have written in my note book. I'll document them here when they are accomplished.

I've missed you little blog. And my blog friends. I won't leave you long from now on. I hope. :)

Hope you are well

I have not had much blogging time lately. Neither to read or to write.

When I get a moment, I pop into a couple and try to catch up, but it's not like it used to be.

I go back and forth about just shutting my blog off, but it is a sort of record of my life for the past few years. Not hugely transparent, but still. There's stuff there.

And who knows. I may all of the sudden have fabulous observations to write about, and where would they go if I didn't have this little space?

So, even though you don't hear from me, know that you are still in my heart. I may not read about your life everyday, but I know you are there and that is comforting.

Big Hair

I've been busy memorizing for Steel Magnolias. I've never been in a show with so many words that weren't put to music. I keep waiting for my big song and dance but it never arrives!

We are practicing hair-dos. Here is there first attempt.

It's pretty darn big. County western singer big.

I'll be back with attempt number two. I have to learn to do it myself, so I think I won't go for so much heighth next time.

Today for lunch...

I am planning on a filet-o-fish, with fries and a diet coke. My body is craving junk, but I am avoiding candy so I can splurge on McDonalds.

Sometimes, it's just the only thing that will do.

Have you seen Julie and Julia? So sweet. Meryl Streep is so great. So full of energy and fun.

The show I'm in had a great review in the paper this week. So proud to be part of something like this. It's so much fun.

Looks like I'm just, so - s0 -so today!

My hair so needs a trim, I so need to lose some weight (after the filet-o-fish) and I so need a raise. And a nap.

So, how's your day?

Feeling Grumpy

I woke up just fine, ate some granola, got dressed, came to work.

Then the copy machine ate an original document.

And I kicked the copy machine with my knee.

And I swore a little bit. Which is disconcerting, because I don't swear all that much.

My eyebrows are furrowed, making those lovely "elevens" on my forehead that we all hate.

I need to snap out of it.

I'll drink some water and see what happens. :)

I went to Iowa

And now I'm home.

I saw friends and went to the most fun wedding!

I spent time with my special friend, Linny and wish it could have been longer, but next time I'm bringing my whole family so I don't get lonely for them.

Pictures soon!

I just realized...

that I've never had a fish taco. I don't know why that seems significant, but I think that I will have to remedy that situation at my earliest convenience.

What kind of fish do they use? Is it shredded up like beef? Are there ever bones? Do they use salsa and sour cream and lettuce? Flour or corn? Spicy or mild? Tomatoes on fish? Do they serve it with a side of beans?

Also, I've made many a pie in my day, but it occurred to me that the last time I made a blackberry pie was in the summer between 3rd and 4th grade in my friends kitchen across the street. I remember my mom commenting that my crust was flaky and thinking it was a negative thing.

With blackberry season almost upon us, I'm thinking that I need to use up last summer's blackberries that I have in the freezer and I think a pie is in order.

But I also have an 'event' in a few months and I would like to not have the little bit of extra chub that I've been carrying around when they day rolls around. So pie and fish tacos might not be the thing for me.

But maybe it's not anything that an extra 30 minute walk wouldn't take care of, eh?

UPDATE on the Goodwill dress: I did, indeed, try to take it back but the tag had been labeled over six months ago and could not be looked up. But that's okay. I think I'll wear it. I was up front with the lady and said that I wasn't sure it was returnable, but would like to try and if it wasn't possible then I was happy to keep it. She was friendly and I didn't feel weird about it at all. But I didn't get my skin care.

Me and Dolly have things in common

We both like to sing and play the gee-tar.

We both have rather large you-know-whats. Although mine are a little more tame than hers.

And, since my last audition was a success, I will get to play Truvy Jones in Steel Magnolias... Just like sweet Dolly!

P.S. Dolly's picture was swiped off the internet. Mine is from last month at an open mic at my favorite coffee shop.

This is super cute!!

It made you smile, didn't it?

Say it, don't spray it...

I'm learning to sing Gilbert & Sullivan.

It ain't easy.

It's so fast and so many words and the word order is so different than how we talk. For example, we say, "The blue sky is beautiful". G & S say, "How beautifully blue the sky".

But it's so much FUN! And for some reason it's so much easier to hit the high notes when one is trying to sound like an opera singer.

My dress is being built right now, so I'll be sure to post pictures when it's done.

And now, an ethical question:

Today was 1/2 off dresses at the Goodwill. Found a couple I like. One in particular I like and it fits, and I think that even though my daughter was not crazy about it, I would probably wear it.

Anyway... One of the dresses still has a Macy's tag on it and has the little sticker on it that says "Receipt Free Return". I have a feeling that I could take it back to the department store and be a little richer.

Is that Kosher? It's brand new with the tag on it. I spent five dollars, but suppose I could get a $30. credit at Macy's? I have my eye on some skin care at Clinique and this dress might just pay for it.

I'm just wondering what you think?

My girl and a boy

My girl likes a boy and the boy likes her back. And what does this mean?

It means matching jersey's, of course!

Let's see if this works

Having trouble with pictures lately. Let me try a few!!